Gunung Rajah - Tales of expectations, reality and perseverance

Three years ago, if you told me that a 105kg+ non-athlete woman would one day climb Gunung Rajah, I would have laughed at you.

And yet… here I am.

Rajah is no joke. 1,683m high, about 26km return, with roughly 2,130m of elevation gain. Roots, mud, boulders, ladders, steep climbs and sections where you are basically pulling yourself up the mountain. And then there was the infamous near-90° climb. I looked up and thought, What the hell am I doing? I look down, even worst.

But I told myself:

Trust your training. Your body remembers.

It did.

There was even a no-fall section where we had to swing across to reach the other side. I was scared, but I didn't freeze. I swung across swiftly. Fear was there. But so was confidence.

I don't get that overnight. I build that one hard step at a time.

Our summit day took 17 hours. We came back into camp at around 1:30am, in the dark, exhausted, with no food and no water left. And somehow, I was ridiculously happy. Because we did it.

And I absolutely couldn't have done it without my team. Dr Sarah was the perfect companion. We laughed, joked, complained, and pushed through together. And strangely, even the silence between us felt good. No need to fill every moment. Just two women sharing that moments with a ridiculously hard adventure. Fate brought us together, and i hope she stays for many seasons to come.

And then there was Kyro, our guide. Patient, strong, calm and incredibly steady. When things got hard, he never panicked. He kept us moving, kept us safe and somehow found the strength to keep encouraging us when we were running on fumes. Honestly, he was a huge reason we made it.

We even set up our little tent at Camp R&R with fairy lights, which looked hilariously cozy considering what was waiting for us the next day. 

But somewhere between the fairy lights, the terrifying climbs and stumbling back into camp at 1:30am, I realized something.

For the last ten years, I've mostly been a mother, a wife and a realtor. And somewhere along the way, I forgot who I was before all those roles. 

Then Khaled told me, “Don't wait up. Do what you want to do.”

And somehow, those words opened a door. I realized I need big goals. I need something that scares me a little. Something that makes me train, struggle, laugh, swear and wonder why the hell I signed up for it. Because somewhere in all these mountains, I've found that little girl again. 

Malaysia has some seriously wild mountains. Mother Nature here is one big, bad boss. And maybe that's exactly what I needed. Some disruption to my routine to shake me awake. To make me want to dream again. 

So if you're feeling stuck in your own rut, maybe you don't need to have your whole life figured out. Maybe you just need to go into the woods. Because sometimes, you don't go into the mountains to find a new version of yourself.

You go there to find the one you lost.